Cold open water at first light — photo by Flo Maderebner on Pexels

7 ways cold water helped me stay sober

The first time I swam past the buoy line was the spring of 2011. I'd just come back from a week in Bodega Bay, where a woman in a salt-bleached parka handed me a thermos and…

Nadia Ferrant Jun 20, 2015
A seated figure breathing slowly — photo by Kampus Production on Pexels

Breathwork for the nights panic wins

For nearly three years I've kept a short list of breathing patterns for very specific failures. For sleeping less. For the tightness under the ribs. For the elevator, and…

Nadia Ferrant Dec 9, 2014
Instant photographs laid out in a grid — photo by Lisa Fotios on Pexels

The Shapes of Grief: Mine

October 8, 2013. I was already halfway out of my coat when it landed — no reserve left in me after a day that had started at a quarter past four, in a kitchen that…

Nadia Ferrant Feb 3, 2014
A glass of water on a pale wooden table — photo by Thới Nam Cao on Pexels

We carry the map already; we only have to read it.

A note. This was the first thing I ever published, back on a blog I've since taken offline, and the photograph above is the last glass I poured on a Tuesday in…

Nadia Ferrant May 11, 2013